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Many different terms are used during S.L.A.A. meetings.  While these may be used differently in various S.L.A.A. groups, we will attempt to define a few of the terms commonly used in S.L.A.A.:

A change in our behavior that involves stopping the addictive pattern – one day, sometimes one minute – at a time. Abstinence is a beginning point in sobriety.

Acting Out
To engage in addictive behavior.  Engaging in a behavior which is considered to be one’s "Bottom-line" is often referred to as "having a slip."

The compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment.

Generally self-defined behaviors or activities which we refrain from in order to experience our physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual wholeness.

Self-defined, self-protective limits we use for interaction with persons, places, things, or activities.

Sometimes known as “feedback”. To respond directly or indirectly to what someone has shared in a meeting; for example, to offer someone your opinions on his or her problems, or to engage in dialogue during the meeting. (Note: most meetings discourage "cross-talk" because it can disturb the flow of a meeting.)

Group Conscience
A process of decision-making by the group.  S.L.A.A. encourages all members to express their views.

Inventory or “Moral” Inventory
A list of qualities within a person, both positive and negative, discovered through self-examination. Also to take someone else’s inventory: to judge another person’s life or sobriety.

To withdraw from the help and healing process of others, program support, or our Higher Power.  Isolation often leads to or accompanies a slip. For anorectic members, isolation may also be a form of acting out. 

S.L.A.A. Member
Any S.L.A.A. participant who has a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction.


A state of abstinence from addictive bottom-line behaviors; often accompanied by the return of sanity, choice, and personal dignity.

Sobriety Date
Generally, the date we stop engaging in our bottom-line behaviors.

A person who works closely with another member to provide individual support and guidance in applying the S.L.A.A. Twelve Step/Twelve Tradition program.  A sponsor should be a person we are not in danger of acting out with, nor are likely to find intrigue with.


Generally self-defined behaviors or activities that we practice in order to experience our physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual wellbeing.

A person, place, thing, or environment that sets off an urge to act out.

The physical, mental, emotional, and often spiritual upheaval which generally accompanies the break in our addictive pattern.

Manipulating another person in recovery, especially a newcomer, into a sexual, emotional, or romantic relationship.

Open or Closed Meeting? 
S.L.A.A. members highly value our tradition of anonymity. Group conscience determines whether a meeting shall be open or closed. In general, the following guidelines are used:

  • Open Meeting:  A meeting open to anyone who wants to find out more about recovery from sex and love addiction.

  • Closed Meeting:  A meeting only open to those having a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction; those who believe they personally may have some of these issues and want to learn more.

Excerpt from the Welcome Pamphlet

©1997 The Augustine Fellowship, S.L.A.A., Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc. 

All rights reserved.

The complete pamphlet can be purchased at

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