THE LANGUAGE OF S.L.A.A. RECOVERY

Many different terms are used during S.L.A.A. meetings.  While these may be used differently in various S.L.A.A. groups, we will attempt to define a few of the terms commonly used in S.L.A.A.:

Abstinence 
A change in our behavior that involves stopping the addictive pattern – one day, sometimes one minute – at a time. Abstinence is a beginning point in sobriety.

Acting Out
To engage in addictive behavior.  Engaging in a behavior which is considered to be one’s "Bottom-line" is often referred to as "having a slip."

Anorexia
The compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment.

Bottom-Lines
Generally self-defined behaviors or activities which we refrain from in order to experience our physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual wholeness.

Boundaries  
Self-defined, self-protective limits we use for interaction with persons, places, things, or activities.

Cross-talk
Sometimes known as “feedback”. To respond directly or indirectly to what someone has shared in a meeting; for example, to offer someone your opinions on his or her problems, or to engage in dialogue during the meeting. (Note: most meetings discourage "cross-talk" because it can disturb the flow of a meeting.)

Group Conscience
A process of decision-making by the group.  S.L.A.A. encourages all members to express their views.

Inventory or “Moral” Inventory
A list of qualities within a person, both positive and negative, discovered through self-examination. Also to take someone else’s inventory: to judge another person’s life or sobriety.

Isolation
To withdraw from the help and healing process of others, program support, or our Higher Power.  Isolation often leads to or accompanies a slip. For anorectic members, isolation may also be a form of acting out. 

S.L.A.A. Member
Any S.L.A.A. participant who has a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction.


Sobriety    

A state of abstinence from addictive bottom-line behaviors; often accompanied by the return of sanity, choice, and personal dignity.

Sobriety Date
Generally, the date we stop engaging in our bottom-line behaviors.

Sponsor
A person who works closely with another member to provide individual support and guidance in applying the S.L.A.A. Twelve Step/Twelve Tradition program.  A sponsor should be a person we are not in danger of acting out with, nor are likely to find intrigue with.

Trigger 
A person, place, thing, or environment that sets off an urge to act out.

Withdrawal 
The physical, mental, emotional, and often spiritual upheaval which generally accompanies the break in our addictive pattern.

13th-Stepping 
Manipulating another person in recovery, especially a newcomer, into a sexual, emotional, or romantic relationship.

Open or Closed Meeting? 
S.L.A.A. members highly value our tradition of anonymity. Group conscience determines whether a meeting shall be open or closed. In general, the following guidelines are used:

  • Open Meeting:  A meeting open to anyone who wants to find out more about recovery from sex and love addiction.

  • Closed Meeting:  A meeting only open to those having a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction; those who believe they personally may have some of these issues and want to learn more.

Excerpt from the Welcome Pamphlet©1997 The Augustine Fellowship,

S.L.A.A., Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.  All rights reserved.

The complete pamphlet can be purchased at

store.slaafws.org/prod/PAM-009

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