Questions Beginners Ask
Below are some of the more common questions beginners ask about the S.L.A.A. program.
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Are there meetings for people that are married to Sex and Love addicts? (Or living with, sibling of, parents of, etc.)
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What does it mean if the meeting is closed? Can I go to a closed meeting?
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Are there local meetings with American Sign Language interpreters?
How do I know if I’m a Sex and Love Addict?
Only you can answer that question. Feel free to check out the 40 Questions for Self Diagnosis from our homepage. If you answer "yes" to any one of them, this program could be helpful to you. You might also take a look at the "Twelve Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction" and see if any of those apply to you. If you *think* you may have a problem, we invite you to come to meetings, and read literature to learn more.
What’s the difference between S.L.A.A. and S.A. or S.A.A.?
We are all Twelve Step programs focusing on sexual addiction. S.L.A.A. also includes solutions for "emotional" addictions, and offers suggestions for developing healthier relationships. Other “S” programs also may have different membership requirements and "bottom line" definitions.
What are S.L.A.A. meetings like?
Our meetings are an opportunity for members to relate their stories about recovery from sex and love addiction. Members identify themselves by first name only and will share their experience, strength, and hope. Our stories disclose what we were like, what happened to change us, and what we are like now. Meetings may have different formats, relating to Step Study, Newcomer, Speaker, Getting Current, etc. Meetings may be closed (for identified sex and love addicts only) or open to all persons. Meetings are generally one and a half hours long unless otherwise specified.
How much does it cost to attend meetings?
There are no dues or fees for S.L.A.A. membership, according to Tradition Seven. Typically, an offering basket is passed for voluntary contributions at meetings to help cover the cost of rent and literature. A $1 or $2 donation is customary but not mandatory.
Do I have to speak at a meeting?
No, you don't have to. You may be asked your first name, and maybe just to identify yourself as a newcomer. Otherwise, you don’t have to do anything except listen, unless you want to share when the time comes either for general or newcomer sharing.
Are there meetings for people that are married to Sex and Love addicts? (Or living with, sibling of, parents of, etc.)
Yes, there are three groups that have information for people whose lives are affected by sex and love addicts — S-Anon, COSA and CO-SLAA. You can find more information about them in the Related 12 Step Programs link on the Fellowship-Wide Services (F.W.S.) website.
I don’t believe in God. Can I still go to meetings?
Yes, you are not required to believe in God to attend meetings. The program is spiritual in nature and includes the belief in a Higher Power, but it is not affiliated with any religion, sect, or denomination. Your concept of a Higher Power can be whatever you choose it to be. Some use the group itself as something more powerful than themselves.
How can I find a meeting in my area?
All the meetings we have in the Los Angeles area are listed on our Current Meetings Page. A printed copy of the schedule can be downloaded there or obtained at any of the meetings you go to in The Bottom Line newsletter. If you do not see any meetings near you on our schedule, you might check neighboring counties closer to where you live.
What if there are no meetings near me?
On the S.L.A.A. National website, Fellowship Wide Services (F.W.S.) you will find information about online meetings, telephone meetings, recordings of speaker meetings, and how to start your own new meeting.
Who attends S.L.A.A. meetings? What kind of people?
People who have a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. This addiction can take many forms, and affect all different kinds of people. It can include, but is not limited to, a compulsive need for sex, extreme dependency on one person (or many), and/or a chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue,and fantasy. Sex and love addiction may also take the form of "anorexia", a compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment. We are united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior which renders any personal differences of sexual or gender orientation irrelevant.
I went to a meeting once and no one was there. Why?
If there is no one in attendance, it may be that the meeting has temporarily moved or been disbanded. Please contact us at (323) 957-4881 or email us at info(at)slaalosangeles.org to notify us about it so that we can make any necessary changes.
How do I get a sponsor?
It is recommended that you attend meetings regularly and listen attentively to those members who share and who do service at your meetings. If there is someone with whom you share a common story, you respect their level of recovery, or you think this person can be helpful to you in recovery, simply approach this person and ask him or her to be your sponsor. It is recommended that you do not choose a person of the same gender to which you are attracted to sponsor you.
What does it mean if the meeting is "closed"? Can I go to a closed meeting?
If the meeting says "closed" or has a C next to it in the listing, that means the meeting is only for sex and love addicts, including newcomers who think they might be. If you feel you are a sex and love addict, or think you may have a problem with sex addiction, love addiction, romantic obsession, codependent relationships, fantasy addiction and/or avoiding sexual, social and emotional contact, you can go to a closed meeting. However, if you only want to go to get some information about S.L.A.A., or you are curious about the program because you think your partner, friend, relative or patient may benefit from it, please attend an open (O) meeting instead.
If I've never been to S.L.A.A. before, do I have to go to a newcomers meeting before I go to any other ones?
No, you are welcome to go to any meeting. It is a good idea to attend a newcomer’s meeting if you are new to S.L.A.A., especially if you have never been to a 12 step meeting before of any kind. Newcomer’s meetings are designed to give special attention to people who are new to the program, and often designate a few extra minutes for them to introduce themselves and share their story if they desire to do so. All S.L.A.A. meetings will have newcomer’s pamphlets, literature, brochures and the S.L.A.A. book available.
Are there local meetings with American Sign Language interpreters?
Not currently. To make this happen, there are several approaches including,
1) Request your home group meeting to start an ASL basket aside from its own 7th tradition basket, so that the meeting may eventually become self-supporting to provide this accommodation regularly.
2) Email treasurer@slaalosangeles.org and inquire about the status of the SLAA Los Angeles intergroup's current ASL fund. Ask about the Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer's current protocol on how to financially provide support for ASL interpreting services towards (a) SLAA Los Angeles intergroup meetings, (b) at least 6 different local group meetings (in-person and/or virtual) that are not yet self-supporting in an equitable and timely manner with their own ASL basket, and (c) workshops endorsed by SLAA Los Angeles intergroup.
3) Attend SLAA Los Angeles intergroup meetings on 2nd Sundays and consider starting an accessibility committee. Once there would be an established accessibility committee of at least two people, then write an annual proposal for budget spending for ASL interpreting services (ask first if there is an existing form to fill out) and submit the proposal to both treasurer@slaalosangeles.org and secretary@slaalosangeles.org.